Woman I Love the Most!

I always wanted to get a tattoo done but, could never figure out a perfect design. And as you can see I found it at last. This is my 1st tattoo and I'm very grateful to Al for doing justice to the tattoo.

I have never told my mother that I love her the most. My Dad and Mom are the most important people in my life. I'm glad that I was born to them. Although when I was in my teens my eyes were wrapped with the unrealistic world and my behavior towards my parents was bad. I din't understand that they loved me so much or maybe I never wanted to learn that. But, Time teaches you everything. And I think it is because of my behavior during my teens, that I can't express my feelings for them because, when I look back now I feel ashamed of myself. But, I'm grateful that I realized my mistakes. :)

It's just that I expressed my love for my mother in a different way. She was hurt when she saw my hand bleeding. I remember for first 3-4 days she continually kept check on me all the time that my hand was fine.

I love my mom the most and now she stays with me 24x7 holding my hand :)

Magic happens to only those who BELIEVE in it!

A friend of mine said this, which caught my attention. He was half drunk but in his full senses. He is my college friend and by profession he is a photographer. 

Initially when I met him, it was difficult to form an opinion about him. It's always been difficult for me to understand quiet people. You can never really make out what's going on in their head. Their quietness, their silence has always acted like shield, which disallows anyone to enter their mind. Most of this kind, turn out to be good and dull people. But this time I kinda wrong!

Because he is good and mature too. He surprised me with his mature point of views. He said few words, but the words were deep, believe you me! I couldn't figure out for a while that was it him or the alcohol speaking. He was overflowing with positive energy. 

He is stoic. I have never met a person in my life with so much positive approach and stability. When I'm around him I feel that positiveness. His mere presence throws away the negative charge. 

Dhanish is a source of positive energy, maybe that is why I happened to change my opinion about him. It's  nice to be with such great people.
I have lot to learn from such beautiful human beings!
It's him who has made me believe in faith.....

WAVELENGTH

I never share my personal life with anyone specially when it comes to my relationships and even if I share I'm never comfy sharing it with a guy. I don't open up in front of guys or with anyone maybe because nobody has ever empathized with me or maybe never matched my wavelength. 

Time changed; for the first time I opened up with Pratik and Siddharth - not so good friends. But their mature point of view and thoughts has made me feel really light from within. I feel relaxed when I hear them out because they have been, where I stand right now. They really understand how it feels to be like me unlike everyone and that has made me share. In other words they are keeping me strong. They are my source of inspiration.

One more reason I enjoyed sharing with them was that deep down in my mind I have mental satisfaction that there are people like me, and what I did was natural. There is a sense of solace. 

I miss her very much.....hope she comes back!

Turning Point !

Can't figure out from where shall I begin. But before i start, I would like to warn the reader that this is sad story so beware : P

I won't go round and round, so to the point yes I'm sad, I'm super sad after my break up.She is not even ready to talk to me, meeting me is out of question! She doesn't want to see me, but till few days back she used to blush seeing me. I never understood, how could she be happy just seeing me; as a matter of fact it gave me happiness too, but i never realized until today, wen she is gone. Maybe that was her way of expressing love towards me which i never understood and I'm sure there were many such unspoken words which I missed. I wish I could catch them all!

To tell the truth I have always put her through something or the other, be it my expectations, my anger or at times both. Like one of my friend said every human is born with 5 things - Expectation, Jealousy, Anger *2 more things which i can't recollect*. I too was born with them. Its human nature and I couldn't avoid it, but I lack one more thing on top of that, I cant deal with them aptly and that is the reason why she left. But i stand helpless here because who wouldn't wanna hear that his girl misses him or loves him or who wouldn't like to be hugged by his girl. Well that was my need; 3 texts in a year saying that she misses me n she loves me and when I say 3 texts in a year I mean it literally. I believe I would have dealt with my problems in a better way had there been more such expressive words. I know she is coy and emotionally retarded and in-spite of that she tried really hard to get out of her shell, and I should be the one appreciating her, but I couldn't do it whole heartedly. Because somewhere deep inside my heart was like *seriously, thrice a year?* she could have done better had she tried hard. Maybe i can say this so easily because it's not a matter of great deal for me or maybe because I din't see her efforts.

Keeping all this aside I accepted her the way she was as I never wanted to lose her for reasons like this. It was difficult for me to adjust every time it was about my expectations. I stayed quiet on the expectations but during that time  I din't realize the way I was behaving with her, all those expectations which were trapped deep inside me, came out in the form of anger and jealousy. I made her feel the way i never wanted her to feel like. Guilt was pilling up in her head, as she would not meet my expectations. I became rude and harsh. I was blindfolded and totally lost in my anger. She kept absorbing my tantrum till few days back when the level of her guilt crossed her neck and she left. And here I'm standing all alone facing the wrath of my deed. I have apologized for things I have done and I know I can never be sorry enough for this. But I need a chance to prove her that I can be a better person. She deserves lot better than this and I want to give her all the happiness she deserves. I think I deserve last chance *fingers crossed*

To be continued......

New Friend Over Coffee !

Cappuccino was bitter, cookies were sweet,

bitterness we shared and the air went sweet.

Was looking for a friend, for my need,

she was der friend indeed!